Remember the first time we talked
After I betrayed your trust
I uprooted and bent the trees around you
I caused the whiplash in the wind

You told me how you felt
Slapped in the face
You told me what you’d do
You’d love me

You left and I climbed to the top of the slide 
While rain dive-bombed the park
Raindrops rolled over my cheeks
But they were already wet

That’s when the world finally felt as I felt
And it felt normal to sit in the rain, see
Joy is the distance from the bottom
And normal is just some point between

I tighten my lips above your head
And I don’t let them move to you
I embrace you for an appropriate amount of time
And I don’t carry you away

I pretend my hands are satisfied with air
Rather than the small of your back
I walk from the sound of your voice
Even though I can still hear you

I’ve never lied to you
Ha! I’ve never lied to you
I’ve never lied to you
Well with words anyway

I’m pretty sure you’re not the type of girl
Who checks missed connections
You’d probably translate entries in this way
I didn’t have the balls to ask you out
I’m in love with people
Who aren’t given the opportunity to turn me down

I’m not like those guys by the way
Or at least I choose a more distinguished medium
To expose my creepiness and insecurities
So assuming you don’t read missed connections
Maybe you read poetry
My imagination tells me wonderful lies about people I don’t know

I know you suggested the irish soda bread
Your plaid scarf got tangled in your chair
I accidentally smiled too much in your direction
I’ve known you for a total of 6 minutes and 32 seconds
It’s beyond ludicrous but I’ve got a cheesy stanza queued
In case we meet again

—And you happen to be single
—And this particular day I have the balls
—Of a steel-plated rhinoceros running into battle
I’ve always had a hard time with names
So I’ve been repeating yours a few times each day
Until I can put it in my phone so I don’t forget

It’s more obvious if you leave, then come back
A place always seems smaller than before
But as we walked together and as time passed
I saw the trees and the lake and the statues in the park
All get smaller right in front of me
You said you couldn’t see it
But maybe it was because you had been shrinking as well
It’s just, that’s not something you really tell a person

I spend a lot of time looking in the mirror
Not in a deep way
I just make faces

I spend a lot of time looking at you
Not in a deep way
You’re just really hot

What was I saying?
I was looking at your face
When I lost my train of thought

Oh right back to my point
You can’t really explain it, is what I’m saying
You smile, then I do too

Ok stop smiling now
I’m really not going to be able to finish
With you smiling… like that

Seriously, all I can think about
Is getting closer to you
Oh that was it! That’s all I was trying to say!

Actually change into jeans
Yes you have to wear the bigger jacket
This is my serious face

It’ll kind of feel like you’re riding on a spinning top
A bit like you’re floating
But I’ve got you

You only need to know three things
Some of them are counterintuitive
It’ll feel more natural the more you do it

One. When we stop, keep your feet on the pegs
Two. When I lean with the bike, lean with me
Three. Know where you can put your hands

One. You can hold the luggage rack behind you
Two. You can cup your hands around my waist
Three. You can just wrap your arms around me

Do whatever feels comfortable
Here’s your helmet
You feeling good?

She’s getting the hang of it
And moving with me
She trusts the frame of the dance

One. I slow the amount of time needed to accelerate through the turn
Two. I look through the turn, pass the on-ramp
Three. I initiate lean and accelerate to the inside of the curve

I know she’s a little scared
But I love it
Because she’s holding me tight

Dance with me
Tell me I’m beautiful
But don’t dare forget those beyond me

Go forth
Forget the chocolates and sweets
Find a liar and expose his deceit 

Don’t be quick to buy me flowers
Rather, punch injustice in the neck
Every time you do, I hear “I love you”

I clean my house because you are coming over
I trim my beard because I will see you soon
I spray Aqua Di Gio on my neck because I want you to linger when we hug
Without you in my life, it’s quite likely I’ll revert
To a stinky, hairy man living in my own filth

We both *like*  cuddling during thunder storms
                          eating peanut butter with a spoon
                          sci-fi westerns
                          fighting injustice with art
                          miniminalist profile pictures
                          writing over talking
                          
We both *like* each other.

We both like     creating our own narratives for other people
                          editing ourself so people see our engaging side
                          pretending someone waits at home with a glass of wine
                          avoiding interaction that requires effort
                          escaping in a story more exciting than our own
                          pretending if we met we would like each other

We don’t like each other.

It’s easy to make a strong play with a poem
Most people only read the first five lines
So just make sure to add something adorable near the top
which reminds me
I love making cookies and feeding them to orphan kids pretty much everyday
 
Abraham Lincoln was born in 1972 and he invented the top hat
See that? Just randomly paste in some smart stuff from wikipedia
Physics or history is usually best
They love that shit
Plus they’ll just assume there’s a deeper meaning
 
Life is such a roller coaster sometimes…

(Like these orphan kids for example. After I fed them cookies, they wanted to exercise. So I bench pressed a stack of a few of the really really fat orphan kids for hours. I’m kind of buff so it wasn’t a big deal. But then they wanted to read my Facebook profile out loud and it was really cute when they said “relationship status single” because they had all these cookies in their mouths still. No big. I teach orphan kids life skills every four score and seven years or so. Oh and I smell like fresh laundry.)

Life. is such a roller. coaster sometimes.

(Like when things get lost. Which reminds me, if you are a hot girl and this poem is lost please return it to its owner at 121 Peachtree Street. And the definition of lost in this context is a copy of the poem which is not in my hands. I’ll sign the poem for you if I can find a pen. I usually have a pen by my love seat. We could talk for hours and play connect four if you happen to have the time.)

Life—is such-a roller, coaster sometimes; Amen.